Poems by a Fed-Up (but Otherwise Really Happy) Atheist

* Stupid!

There are folks who’d rather screw the poor, for tax breaks for the wealthy; *
Who’d rather throw up roadblocks than ensure that folks are healthy; *
Who rush to buy assault guns after kids are massacred, *
And yell that Santa’s white, not black, and that’s the final word! *
Who – unbelievably – believe there’s a guy up there named “God,” *
And a simple “Happy Holidays” puts their panties in a wad; *
Who hate hate HATE all government, but love their Medicare; *
And scream, “Deport the immigrants!” but like the work they bear; *
Who disdain the claim that climate change imperils you or me, *
Yet cry that same-sex marriage wrecks our whole society – *

To all you hard-right-wingers who denounce, distort, delay,
So fearful of all progress that you block it every way,
Priorities all backwards! Arguments not lucid!
My heart-felt wish for you this year?

Stop being so damn stupid!

Fingers in Their Ears

Polls indicate that most Americans want a balanced approach to the fiscal cliff problem, with both spending cuts and revenue increases to solve our financial imbalance.

But Republicans in Congress refuse to raise revenue at all, even by closing tax loopholes for the wealthy.

Fingers in their Ears

Republicans in Congress drone their same-old tired chant:
“Compromise with Democrats? We never will! We shan’t!
Cut spending and close loopholes? Our constituents say no!”
And Republicans across the States cry, “Wait! That isn’t so!”

But Republicans in Congress say, “We’ll carry out your wish!
You’d rather cut the milit’ry than tax the super-rich!
We’ll keep those loopholes open while we cut with all our might!”
And Republicans across the States cry, “Stop! That is not right!”

But Republicans in Congress say, “We’re listening to you!
You’d rather risk recession than to increase revenue!
The rich, they need their money. Our schools can take the hit!”
And Republicans across the States cry, “That’s certainly not it!”

But Republicans in Congress say, “We’ll do just what you’ve asked!
You’ll pay more in spending cuts; the rich, though, won’t be taxed!”

We say that we want balance. We’ve asked them this for years!
“We’re listening!” they pledge to us . . .  with fingers in their ears.

The Price of Safety

The world was saddened and horrified by the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.

The NRA’s response? Put more guns in schools.

—–

The Price of Safety

The NRA says lots of guns will help to keep us safe!
Fill our homes and church and school, and arm the office place!
To protect his family, fathers stockpile guns of every size,
And women fill their purses up with pistols, as is wise.
There are crazy people out there. You never know just who.
So all the neighbors hurry out, and they buy weapons, too.

And teachers carry rifles to defend the school hall;
And shoppers strap their pistols on ‘fore heading to the mall;
And waitresses wear handguns as they work at the café;
And parents pack revolvers to the soccer field each day;
Ministers give sermons proudly sporting guns on hips,
And rejoice to see the faithful with their armaments and clips.
Mailmen and secretaries, bakers, clerks, and more
Bring shotguns to the office, to the courthouse, park or store.

And just because they love them, parents give their children Glocks.
They stuff ‘em into backpacks, down their pockets, into socks.
Safely armed with loaded guns, the kids go out to play.
My kid won’t get pushed around!” their parents proudly say.

Yes, just like in the Wild West, each person packs a gun.
It was peaceful – safe and civilized! – back when the West was won.
The best defense is good offense! No one would attack
A person who, if shot at, would then surely shoot them back!
And every day, a weapon kills a child (or two or three).
Well, that’s the price of safety. You know, safety isn’t free.

Now, a bar fight can explode from just two people to a brawl;
So a shouting match can likewise spark a gunfight free-for-all
When someone feels insulted, or someone runs a light,
Or someone who is crazy starts to pick a crazy fight.

And while you would never panic, someone maybe could,
And maybe they start shooting cuz their judgment’s not so good.
Then everyone starts grabbing for their Lugers and their Colts,
They’re whipping out their Winchesters and throwing home the bolts,
M-16s and Uzis are unveiled for self-defense:
Thank God we can protect ourselves from those who have no sense!
Guns are raised and shots are heard – from here? Or over there?
And the hordes of well-intentioned spray their bullets everywhere.

And later, when we count our dead who’re piled everyplace,
Will we still believe the NRA, that guns will keep us safe?

Family Values, GOP-Style

Family Values, GOP-Style

They thump their King James bibles as they preach morality;
They boast of “family values” like they’re pure as pure can be;
They condemn you if you’re different: You’re deviants! Misfits!
But the ”family values” party is awash with hypocrites.

Jimmy Swaggart preached the Word of God to millions on TV,
He called gay marriage asinine, perverse stupidity.
But he couldn’t quit those prostitutes, this family values whiz;
A monogamous gay marriage is more virtuous than his.

Mark Foley, fighting child porn, seemed worthy of applause.
He vilified the pedophiles, he called for tougher laws.
And yet he texted graphic stuff to boys not yet eighteen;
The ones who yell the loudest are not always what they seem.

Newt Gingrich, family values guy, cried morals were too lax.
He helped impeach the president for lying ‘bout some facts.
He denounced all shoddy morals (was he with wife Two or Three?),
As his mistress gave him blow jobs. Yeah, more hypocrisy.

Ted Haggard cried that gayness, impure sex and drugs were sin.
“Keep mind and body pure in Christ!” he’d say with toothy grin.
But he liked his male prostitutes. He liked his crystal meth.
He’d condemn it, then he’d do it. Jeez, show your God respect.

John Ensign, as a Promise Keeper, fought for “purity.”
Committed to strong marriages, he preached fidelity.
He cheated with a good friend’s wife despite his righteous stance:
Another family values guy can’t keep it in his pants.

Mark Sanford, Southern Governor, was big on honesty.
(I think that what he really meant was “everyone but me.”)
He lied ‘bout going hiking and he lied ‘bout his affair.
The GOP’s hypocrisy is damn near everywhere!

Larry Craig and ole Jim Bakker, Tom DeLay  and Eddie Long:
The sex and money scandals from these guys goes on and on!
They brag about their values, but you really have to doubt:
They lie and cheat, wreck marriages, and kick their gay kids out.

Who treats families made of immigrants with decency, not scorn?
Who cares about the lives of kids beyond the time they’re born?
Who says that gays can marry and raise kids, like you and me?
Who stands for family values? It ain’t the GOP!

The GOP hurts families, despite the stuff they shout.
For authentic family values, check the other party out.

Gambling With Our Fate

Gambling With Our Fate

You mock whoever dares to think that climate change is true.
You’re scornful of the scientists (who might know more than you).
You sneer at rising temperatures, at droughts and floods and storms.
You snort that it’s just cyclical: Earth cools and Earth warms.

I guess you think you’re awfully smart, denouncing experts’ views.
I guess you haven’t figured out you just can’t trust Fox News.
The scientists could all be wrong about our dire plight;
The problem for the planet, though, is: what if they are right?

Such arrogance, to just dismiss what all the experts say!
Such selfishness, to carry on when you don’t have to pay!
Such recklessness, to roar for drilling oil! Burning coal!
Such foolishness, to think that our emissions have no toll!
Such irresponsibility, to gamble with our fate!
I fear that you won’t smarten up until it’s way too late.

It’d be fine if your short-sightedness affected only you.
But denying this whole issue hurts your kids and grandkids, too.
Why are you so unconcerned, with facts this worrisome?
You’re either really selfish, or else you’re really dumb.

Wrong (again)

Wrong (again)

“There’s nothing wrong with slavery!” you cried with all your might.
“It’s sanctioned in the Bible!” (And by God, you know, you’re right.)
’Twas tradition that the upper class owned property like slaves.
You treat your blacks quite well, you claimed (as long as they behaved).
But giving slaves their freedom? To treat them just like white?
You cried that it’s not natural! It’s unheard-of! It’s not right!

You explained the color of their skin was proof of lower race.
You held no malice towards them, they just had to know their place.
Slavery was tradition. The way it’d always been.
’Twas written in the Bible, so to change it was a sin!
You thought the color of your skin made you superior,
But the rest of us all saw you as the racist that you were.

With women, you were adamant: they shouldn’t work or vote!
“Women must submit to men!” was a favorite Bible quote.
’Twas tradition they made babies, that they cooked and kept the home;
A woman’s place was certainly not equal to your own!
Men always ran the household: in their homes, they were the king.
It’d been this way for all these years, why change a single thing?

You explained how fragile women were, not logical or smart.
You held no malice towards them, they just had to know their part.
To rule was tradition. The way it’d always been.
’Twas written in the Bible, so to change it was a sin!
You thought God made it obvious that they’re inferior,
But the rest of us all saw you as the sexist that you were.

And now we come to marriage ’tween two people who are gay.
Stop right there! Just let me guess at what you’re gonna say!
You’ll talk about tradition ’tween a man and woman pair;
You’ll quote your Bible verses (homophobic and unfair).
You’ll say it isn’t natural. That being gay’s a sin.
(You can no more choose your gayness than the color of your skin.)
Armed with hateful Bible quotes, you feel so justified;
(Cuz you’ve never known the Bible to have been on the wrong side!)

You’ll explain you really love gays. You really really do!
You hold no malice towards them, they should just be straight, like you.
Marriage is tradition. The way it’s always been.
It’s written in the Bible, so to change it is a sin!
You think that you’re so righteous, such a moral superstar,
But the rest of us all see you as the bigot that you are.

You make the same old arguments! Forgive me if I’m shrill:
‘Twas discrimination earlier! You’re discriminating still!
You like to fight ’gainst civil rights, but every time you’re wrong.
In time the country grows ashamed of the side you’re always on.
Here’s why you’ll lose this battle (like the other fights you fought):
It’s pure discrimination!

You can marry.

They cannot.

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee
Were voted in by you and me.
Each one argued different sides,
Then hammered out a compromise.
And afterwards they’d have a drink,
And talk and argue; reason, think.
And just because they disagreed
Neither one once felt the need
To call one side “unpatriotic.”
(A charge that’s clearly idiotic!)

Now, Tweedle Dee felt passionately
That all should have equality.
And so he fought for civil rights:
Equal treatment: blacks and whites!
Equal treatment: straight and gay!
For everyone! In every way!

But Tweedle Dum cried, “Lower taxes!”
And “Government, get off our backses!”
(Which really doesn’t make much sense
Since Tweedle Dum’s constituents
Walk around with hands outstretched
For monthly governmental checks.
Where’d they think the money’s from?
From taxes, people! Don’t be dumb!)
You’d think they’d give Dum second looks –
They vote against their pocketbooks!

Now, Tweedle Dum began to think
It might look weak to have a drink
With Tweedle Dee; Dum could be wrong,
But more important is looking strong!
So with all the wisdom Dum implies,
He vowed to never compromise.
Tweedle Dee would try, you know.
But Tweedle Dum just stuck with no.

No to helping those who’re poor.
No immigrants allowed, for sure!
No to marriage if you’re gay!
No taxing rich folks! No! No way!
No to all who are not wealthy.
No to health care! (Hope you’re healthy.)
No abortions! No exceptions!
No to gun control suggestions!
No, there is no climate change!
No if it seems new or strange!

If Dee had something to propose,
Dum would block it with his “no’s.”
Whatever Tweedle Dee might say,
Tweedle Dum would block his way.
Even things that Dum proposed
If Dee agreed, Dum then opposed!
Tweedle Dee would cry, “Not fair!”
But Tweedle Dum just didn’t care.
Dum blocked Dee at every turn.
Let the country crash and burn!

The people cried for unity,
And Tweedle Dum blamed Tweedle Dee
For all those no’s, for all our woes –
Dum just lies, the record shows.
And Tweedle Dum’s constituents
(Who, as I said, don’t have much sense)
Believed Fox News, who said that Dum
Was blameless and that Dee was scum!

So things got worse, more polarized.
Drinks were out (like compromise).
The Tweedles fought, got nothing done,
Yet voters kept both Dee and Dum.

So Dee, with scant majority,
Pushed through bills alone, did he.
Dum was angry, let it show,
But work at all with Dee? Hell, no!
Dum wanted everything his way.
He wouldn’t budge. He wouldn’t sway.
The country stalled; Dum didn’t care.
The country needs Dum outta there!

So let’s be clear: we all know that
“Dee” is short for Democrat.
We also know why things are crummy:
Cuz “Dum,” of course, is short for . . .

.

.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .   Republican

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