Family Values, GOP-Style
They thump their King James bibles as they preach morality;
They boast of “family values” like they’re pure as pure can be;
They condemn you if you’re different: You’re deviants! Misfits!
But the ”family values” party is awash with hypocrites.
Jimmy Swaggart preached the Word of God to millions on TV,
He called gay marriage asinine, perverse stupidity.
But he couldn’t quit those prostitutes, this family values whiz;
A monogamous gay marriage is more virtuous than his.
Mark Foley, fighting child porn, seemed worthy of applause.
He vilified the pedophiles, he called for tougher laws.
And yet he texted graphic stuff to boys not yet eighteen;
The ones who yell the loudest are not always what they seem.
Newt Gingrich, family values guy, cried morals were too lax.
He helped impeach the president for lying ‘bout some facts.
He denounced all shoddy morals (was he with wife Two or Three?),
As his mistress gave him blow jobs. Yeah, more hypocrisy.
Ted Haggard cried that gayness, impure sex and drugs were sin.
“Keep mind and body pure in Christ!” he’d say with toothy grin.
But he liked his male prostitutes. He liked his crystal meth.
He’d condemn it, then he’d do it. Jeez, show your God respect.
John Ensign, as a Promise Keeper, fought for “purity.”
Committed to strong marriages, he preached fidelity.
He cheated with a good friend’s wife despite his righteous stance:
Another family values guy can’t keep it in his pants.
Mark Sanford, Southern Governor, was big on honesty.
(I think that what he really meant was “everyone but me.”)
He lied ‘bout going hiking and he lied ‘bout his affair.
The GOP’s hypocrisy is damn near everywhere!
Larry Craig and ole Jim Bakker, Tom DeLay and Eddie Long:
The sex and money scandals from these guys goes on and on!
They brag about their values, but you really have to doubt:
They lie and cheat, wreck marriages, and kick their gay kids out.
Who treats families made of immigrants with decency, not scorn?
Who cares about the lives of kids beyond the time they’re born?
Who says that gays can marry and raise kids, like you and me?
Who stands for family values? It ain’t the GOP!
The GOP hurts families, despite the stuff they shout.
For authentic family values, check the other party out.