Poems by a Fed-Up (but Otherwise Really Happy) Atheist

Posts tagged ‘God’

Family Values, GOP-Style

Family Values, GOP-Style

They thump their King James bibles as they preach morality;
They boast of “family values” like they’re pure as pure can be;
They condemn you if you’re different: You’re deviants! Misfits!
But the ”family values” party is awash with hypocrites.

Jimmy Swaggart preached the Word of God to millions on TV,
He called gay marriage asinine, perverse stupidity.
But he couldn’t quit those prostitutes, this family values whiz;
A monogamous gay marriage is more virtuous than his.

Mark Foley, fighting child porn, seemed worthy of applause.
He vilified the pedophiles, he called for tougher laws.
And yet he texted graphic stuff to boys not yet eighteen;
The ones who yell the loudest are not always what they seem.

Newt Gingrich, family values guy, cried morals were too lax.
He helped impeach the president for lying ‘bout some facts.
He denounced all shoddy morals (was he with wife Two or Three?),
As his mistress gave him blow jobs. Yeah, more hypocrisy.

Ted Haggard cried that gayness, impure sex and drugs were sin.
“Keep mind and body pure in Christ!” he’d say with toothy grin.
But he liked his male prostitutes. He liked his crystal meth.
He’d condemn it, then he’d do it. Jeez, show your God respect.

John Ensign, as a Promise Keeper, fought for “purity.”
Committed to strong marriages, he preached fidelity.
He cheated with a good friend’s wife despite his righteous stance:
Another family values guy can’t keep it in his pants.

Mark Sanford, Southern Governor, was big on honesty.
(I think that what he really meant was “everyone but me.”)
He lied ‘bout going hiking and he lied ‘bout his affair.
The GOP’s hypocrisy is damn near everywhere!

Larry Craig and ole Jim Bakker, Tom DeLay  and Eddie Long:
The sex and money scandals from these guys goes on and on!
They brag about their values, but you really have to doubt:
They lie and cheat, wreck marriages, and kick their gay kids out.

Who treats families made of immigrants with decency, not scorn?
Who cares about the lives of kids beyond the time they’re born?
Who says that gays can marry and raise kids, like you and me?
Who stands for family values? It ain’t the GOP!

The GOP hurts families, despite the stuff they shout.
For authentic family values, check the other party out.

Like A Peasant In The Iron Age

Like A Peasant In The Iron Age

As a Christian, I am proud to be as modern and as wise
As a peasant in the Iron Age. I think just like those guys!

God made the world. He runs it still. Such logic can’t be flawed.
It’s easy to explain the world: “It’s all because of God.”
God makes the mighty thunderclaps. That’s all I need to know.
God keeps the airplanes in the air. God makes the light bulbs glow.
God gives us cancer (who knows why!), then makes it go away.
I doubt it was the chemo. I bet it’s cuz we pray.
God keeps the earth in orbit. God makes the sky that hue.
God’s in that little magic shot that helps us fight the flu.
I never have to question why the tides go in and out –
“God does it!” is my answer. It’s so easy not to doubt!

Science builds on “evidence.” That makes me want to fight.
Won’t listen to another view! I won’t! (What if it’s right?)
If science contradicts my Book, then science must be wrong.
I won’t let stupid “facts” disturb the views I’ve held so long!
All the answers that I need are within my Bible’s covers.
It’d be the only school text if I could have my druthers.
I hardly think a scientist today could really know
More than what those peasants knew two thousand years ago!

They’re superstitious, super-stubborn, super-stupid – golly gee!
Those peasants in the Iron Age sure sound a lot like me!
In context and in history, though, the peasant’s much more wise.
He’d never heard of science. I’ve closed my mind and eyes.

Take Off Your Christian Glasses

Take Off Your Christian Glasses

Take off your Christian glasses! Be brave and take a glance!
Imagine there’s no God up there, that life began by chance.
No God is listening to your prayers (so don’t expect an answer);
No God accounts for suffering, catastrophes and cancer.
Yet music, art, hope and beauty, love and joy remain:
A world with God, a world without – well gosh, it looks the same.

Take off your Christian glasses! Check out the other side.
What makes you so reluctant? Is your faith mixed up with pride?
Do you cling to Christian teachings out of fear – or maybe dread?
It’s really not that terrible to think that dead is dead.
You’re on a precious planet; you have one precious life.
Don’t live as in the Iron Age! Come, step into the light!

Take off your Christian glasses! Take an honest look.
The Bible’s full of errors, friend. It’s not that great a book.
Think about it this way, from another point of view:
Does your minister or science have more cause to twist what’s true?
See the world around you, all those mysteries to be solved!
Not knowing (yet) the answer doesn’t mean that God’s involved.

Take off your Christian glasses! The world’s not so changed.
You’re still a moral person, but your mind is now unchained!
Life isn’t all that different in the non-religious crowd:
No time is wasted in a church, no time’s spent being cowed.
Whatever you attempt in life, you do in your own name.
You deserve to get some credit, instead of just the blame.
You worked hard (or had some luck) – it’s not that you were “blessed.”
Don’t waste your time on pleas and prayers  – go forth and do your best!

In the end, it doesn’t matter if you think God’s there or not:
The tide goes in, the tide goes out, no matter what you’re taught.
The sun keeps rising in the east, and setting in the west.
You can hide behind those glasses; you can chant: “It’s God! We’re blessed!”
But science offers answers that explain the sun and tides:
Take off those Christian glasses! They deceive your mind and eyes!

You want to know the answers and believe what’s really true?
You don’t believe in Thor or Zeus – let go of God now, too!
Take a look at evidence, put all things to the test.
Do you really think a talking snake explains the world best?
Take off your Christian glasses if it’s knowledge that you seek:
You could lose your faith – but gain the truth!

That’s worth a teeny peek.

I Believe In Leprechauns!

I Believe In Leprechauns!

I believe in leprechauns! They’re real! Just  take a look:
It’s all been written down right here, in the Holy Clover Book!
The Clover Book is ancient. Its teachings all are True.
“Leprechauns are real,” it says – do you believe now, too?
Don’t denigrate the Clover Book, that disrespects my faith.
Accept and praise the leprechauns, or else your soul’s not safe!

You’ve never seen a leprechaun? I’ve never seen your God.
How to know which one is real, and which one is a fraud?
Well, take a look around you! I’ll prove my case with ease:
Grass and trees make oxygen, the very stuff you breathe!
You think it’s just coincidence that green plants make our air?
The explanation’s obvious: the leprechauns were there!
Don’t talk of photosynthesis, one theory you might find.
Teach leprechauns in science class! Let kids make up their mind!

At the end of every rainbow –  I’m sure that you’ve been told –
Is a kettle from the leprechauns, overflowing with pure gold.
If, in your heart, is honest faith,  those riches you’ll receive!
If you haven’t found the kettle yet, be patient! Just believe!

So no one’s seen a leprechaun in, oh, two thousand years?
But here’s a face! Right on my toast! It cried real greenish tears!
So how do you explain that? It’s a miracle! A sign!
What further proof is needed to convince you they’re divine?
I know that leprechauns exist, I feel it in my heart!
You can’t let science trick you! Trust leprechauns! Be smart!

There’s only one condition. On this they’re very firm:
Once a day you must lie down, and wriggle like a worm.
Don’t question why they ask it. We cannot understand.
But since they do command it, better do it or be damned!
Their ways are quite mysterious; they’re greater than are we.
Obey the ancient Clover Book! Obey, and you’ll be free!

Whatever you might point to, and say “This comes from God!”
I can say “’Twas leprechauns!” Come on, now, prove me flawed!
But see? You cannot do it. And so my faith is strong.
I shut my ears to logic, and pray to leprechauns.

Don’t Tell Us What We Think

How is it that Christians feel qualified to proclaim what atheists think or feel?

  • Atheists are filled with despair
  • Atheists lead empty, meaningless lives
  • Atheists dread death
  • Atheists are immoral

Have they even talked to an atheist? Because they’ve got it all wrong.

Atheists aren’t despairing. We don’t lead empty, meaningless lives. Because we don’t believe in an afterlife, or any hocus-pocus god-figures, we find joy and meaning in the here-and-now. We build rich and fulfilling lives for ourselves around family, personal relationships, our work and hobbies. We strive to leave the world a better place. We try to get as much as we can out of this life, because this is the only life we’ll have. So we fill it with joy and happiness.

Most of us don’t dread death, either. Why dread nothingness? It’s not such a bad state. The 1500’s weren’t a bad time for me; I wasn’t alive. Similarly, the 2500’s won’t be a bad time for me: I won’t be alive then, either. Christians may have more to dread than we do: they are often bombarded with the angry-god scenario – if you don’t do such-and-such, you’ll burn in hell! If you don’t believe thus-and-so, you’ll be tortured for eternity!

Now that’s some scary stuff. I can see why Christians might dread death.  Getting into heaven might be a little dicey. You don’t want to go through the wrong door. What if God is having a bad day on Judgment Day? What if God is angrier about that little episode in college than you realized?

If I were a Christian, I’d be biting my nails. I might even feel (this is ironic!) despair.

And atheists certainly aren’t immoral. I hope it won’t come as a disappointment to Christians to learn that being a Christian does not automatically confer moral standing. Reading the Bible and believing in God does not automatically give you moral bragging rights.

Have you read the Bible? (There’s a poem in a previous post you might like to read!)

Atheists know, just as well as you do, that it’s wrong to lie, or steal, or hurt others. We don’t need the Bible to tell us this. We also don’t need a scary god-daddy standing over us, threatening to hurt us if we aren’t moral. And actually, I suspect you don’t, either.

Here’s a question for you: If God were to somehow appear before us (he’s Real!), and announce unequivocally that he’s done with Earth and humanity, that all bets are off – you can all forget the whole Christianity thing, he’s going away and not coming back – would you Christians suddenly become immoral? Would you suddenly be consumed with the desire to steal, lie, rape, and murder? Would you go out and “live like animals?”

I most emphatically believe the answer is no. I really don’t think you would. Because even though God would no longer be holding a big stick over your heads (or the threat of eternal damnation and hellfire), you know it’s wrong to hurt others.

Just like atheists do.

(And if you don’t know hurting others is fundamentally wrong, then I whole-heartedly urge you to continue believing in God, with his big stick and eternal hellfire!)

Maybe Christians are used to making big sweeping proclamations without any evidence to back it up:

  • God approves of a and b, but doesn’t approve of x and y (often conveniently tracking with whatever issues Christians happen to approve and disapprove of)
  • To get into heaven, you must act such-and-such way, not this other way (which again, will conveniently track with current Christian “values”)
  • Heaven looks like – whatever, fill in the blank: Jesus, family members, God’s right hand, angels with harps, blah blah blah
  • God is for this army, but against that army
  • God says “An eye for an eye!” No, no, wait, he’s changed his mind, now it’s “Turn the other cheek!” He thinks such-and-such now, not thus-and-so (even though both things are in the Bible); but he really means such-and-such now, trust us, we know
  • Evolution is silly/”just a theory”/untrue
  • The earth is 6,000 years old

And the list goes on.

So maybe they can’t help themselves when they proclaim, without evidence or seemingly any knowledge on the subject whatsoever, what atheists think and feel.  Who we are. What we’re like. The extent of our happiness, the depth of our satisfaction, the level of our morality.

I wish they would just ask us, though. Instead of proclaiming for us. Since it’s so conspicuously and preposterously wrong.

So to you Christians out there – the ones who like to pontificate about atheists, the ones who say we’re “despairing” and lead meaningless lives, etc.  – go ahead and proclaim to the world what you yourselves think and feel. About you, yourself. But please don’t tell the world what atheists think and feel.

Because you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about.

God vs. Dog

God vs. Dog

When feeling lonely in the night, to God some people call,
But my dog is right beside me: she never left at all!
I make the slightest murmur and my dog is by my head,
She gives my hand a friendly lick, she snuggles me in bed.

God’s love is downright chilly: “Do This” and “Don’t Do That.”
(Unless, of course, you break His rules, and feel His fiery wrath.)
His comfort is cerebral. You must obey the laws.
A dog just plain adores you, and overlooks your flaws.

Dog’s love is unconditional; she loves you through and through.
She fills you up with selfless love, she puts no strings on you.
They say that if you listen hard, God’s voice is in your heart.
But no one has to “listen hard” to hear a real-live bark!

Now here’s a Truth: I feel it, from my head down to my feet:
God’s love is on the stern side; a dog’s is oh-so-sweet.
Your soul is feeling empty? There’s meager help from God.
To fill your soul to “overflow,” nothing beats a dog!

Christian Love

Christian Love

Christians are so loving! They love you through and through.
Don’t know a thing about you, but they love you, yes they do!
They’re moral, kind and loving, taking orders from Above;
The world would be a better place if filled with Christian love!

But then a Christian family finds an atheist in their midst:
The retribution’s swift and harsh; it’s shouted and it’s hissed.
Christian loving might include to badger, scream, or shun,
There’s very little tolerance if you beat a different drum.
Families can be torn apart – they simply cannot stand
You to have a different view: it’s their way, or be damned.
They quote their Bible verses; they threaten and they pray,
They won’t respect or listen to a single thing you say.
The vitriol, the hurtfulness – so callous for a dove!
I must confess to needing less if this is Christian love.

There’s a special kind of Christian love if you happen to be gay.
They’ll love you ‘til you’re not yourself, they’ll love the truth away.
They quote their Bible verses: “Accept Jesus and be saved!”
They explain that gays are sinners: “You’re immoral! You’re depraved!”
Their loving God can wipe out towns – vindictively, some claim
God raised a storm, Katrina. It’s those gays who are to blame.
“God hates you!”  and “You make me sick!,” and “You! Repent your ways!”
Hate signs, screams, and beatings, that’s the love they show to gays.
“Change yourself!” “Don’t marry!” It’s more loving (seems to me)
To accept them fully as they are. (Hint hint: equality.)

Christian love is loving? Unless you think like them,
They’ll yell and scream and bully you with classic Christian venom.
Want to hear an atheist pray? Here’s what I’m thinking of:
God save us from this ugliness that some call Christian love.

The Bible Makes You Better?

The Bible Makes You Better?

So atheists have no morals ‘cause we don’t believe in god,
But the Bible gives you morals? I find that rather odd.

God declared to Abraham, “Go kill your only son.” (Genesis 22:2)
In the end, he didn’t have to; but what would you have done?
All kids who “curse their parents” should now be put to death, (Leviticus 20:9)
Plus kill all Sunday workers! (Will anyone be left?)  (Exodus 35:2)
If you rape a virgin, marry her! Then everything is great. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
Says God: “Kill men and women; the virgins you can rape.” (Numbers 31:17-18)
A brother rapes his sister; a father tells the crowd, (2 Samuel 13:11-14)
“Gang-rape my virgin daughter!” This Bible makes you proud? (Judges 19:22-24)

God slaughters every firstborn in a fearsome show of might, (Exodus 12:29-30)
Atheists are horrified – hey God! That wasn’t right!
The Bible’s full of murder – did God forget it’s wrong? (1 Chronicles 21:14, Deuteronomy 3:3-7)
Dead women, children, animals – the bloody list goes on.  (2 Kings 10:25, Joshua 6:20-21, Numbers 15:35-36, Deuteronomy 20:16-17, Psalms 137:9, Deuteronomy 13:15-16, Joshua 11:21-22, Ezekiel 9:5-7, Hosea 13:16)

The Bible talks ‘bout buying slaves, just like we buy our bread. (Leviticus 25:44-46)
I wonder why it didn’t say that slavery’s wrong, instead?
Oh here’s a moral teaching! To kill your slave’s a crime. (Exodus 21:20)
But beat him so he’s down for days? Well, that’s completely fine.  (Exodus 21:21)

You believe the Ten Commandments, the “one man one woman” rot,
Gonna kill those Sunday workers? Do you believe, or do you not?
If you stand up for one part of it, you stand up for the rest.
Those virgin rapes, those massacres –  I dare you! Call it blessed.

Atheists know that murder’s wrong; rape and slavery too.
Didn’t learn that from the Bible. Hey Christians – nor did you!
The slaughters, all that raping – you think those things are good?
All those acts should be condemned – a moral person would.
You think you’ve higher morals ‘cause you’ve read that violent book?
The Bible makes you better? Better take another look.

The Conservative Christian

The Conservative Christian

We’re Christians so we’ll help you, but you gotta do your part:
We won’t do nothing for you ’til there’s Jesus in your heart.
Just follow what the Bible says – well, the passages we’re choosing:
God says “Don’t kill,” then slaughters all, so that’s a bit confusing.
Don’t worry ‘bout the slavery, or killing folks with stones,
As long as wives submit to men, you’ll have such happy homes.
We’ll hold up signs like “God hates gays!” and “Burn in hell!” and such,
Don’t think we’re being hateful, ‘cause we love you very much!
We’ll tell you who to marry; how to live and die as well.
And if you don’t agree with us, you’ll surely go to hell.

As conservatives, we’re practical  – so keep our taxes down!
I want my money, dammit. Go someplace else to drown.
Don’t care if you are hungry, if you’re sick or if you’re cold,
Shut up and try to find a job. Too bad if you’re too old.
Give tax cuts to the wealthy! Cut programs to the poor!
Give guns to all Americans! Come on, let’s go to war!
Won’t help you with your healthcare; if you’re poor, I guess you’ll die.
Let’s cut out all the programs upon which I don’t rely.

The Jesus in the Bible always turned the other cheek.
He fed the hungry, healed the sick, stood up for all the weak.
He gave away his money, helped outcasts and the poor,
A jobless homeless bleeding heart? Sounds liberal, that’s for sure!
If Jesus walked the earth today and didn’t have a job,
And talked of peace, and helped the poor, and – gasp – thought he was God,
Christians in their righteous rage might nail him to a cross,
Where he’d likely die without healthcare, since that comes from your boss.

Christians seem deluded since the Bible’s such a mess,
Conservatives seem selfish, but that’s their choice, I guess.
But now I’ll say it plainly, so please don’t throw a fit:
If you’re Christian and not liberal, you’re just a hypocrite.