Poems by a Fed-Up (but Otherwise Really Happy) Atheist

Posts tagged ‘gun control’

Some People Down In Texas

Some People Down In Texas….

Some people down in Texas carry guns for their protection.
Deadly weapons, violent deaths? There’s surely no connection –
Uh-oh! Rival bikers have a shootout in a bar!
Twenty-seven dead and injured! (You see how safe guns are?)
Of course those guys weren’t good guys. They were gonna kill someone;
But just how many would have died, if no one had a gun?

Some people down in Texas really hate Obamacare.
No Medicaid expansion for low income folks down there!
Too bad if they need health care! Screw the uninsured!
Too bad if they get sicker cuz their health care is deferred!
Block Obama’s policies! Just let the dying wait!
(You think they’d play with politics if their lives were at stake?)

Some people down in Texas cried, “The textbooks are absurd!
We can’t make kids conservative when Doctrine is obscured!
The Ten Commandments! Moses! That’s what shaped our Constitution!
Climate change – if it exists! – is NOT caused by pollution!
How dare the books say slavery! ‘Twas Atlantic Trading Acts!”
And so they set those textbooks straight by twisting up the facts.

Some people down in Texas felt their rights had been abused.
“Tyranny!” “Oppression!” – were some words they often used.
How dare the Feds impinge upon the Texans’ sovereign ways?
How dare they strike down laws that say NO MARRYING FOR GAYS?
Illegal domination! Interference! Subjugation! –
Poor Texans! So repressed, they try seceding from the nation!

[It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?]

Some people down in Texas got all panicked by a map!
It labelled Texas “hostile”! The Feds have set a trap!
They’ll attack through secret tunnels and establish martial law!
They’ll confiscate all firearms! They’ll brainwash ma and pa!
The Governor calls up the Guard. (The state has gone insane!
Hey guys! It’s just a military exercise, a game!)

Some people down in Texas have some pretty wacky views;
You think they must be joking, ‘til you see them on the news.
Conspiracies! Invasions! Persecution! State secession!
Fear that leftists might swoop-in to brainwash and oppress ‘em!

[Wow.]

They make us laugh! They make us cry. They certainly perplex us;
They’re just a little crazy, are some people down in Texas.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Some links to events referenced in the poem:

  • Nine dead, eighteen injured in Texas biker shootout. (Good thing they had all those guns to keep ’em safe, right?)
  • Gallup Poll: A majority of Americans think guns make us safer. (Hello! Do you watch the news?)
  • Here’s what I think about guns and safety.
  • Oh, how timely! Another shooting! Not in Texas, but the question remains: How many of those nine church-goers would have died if the shooter didn’t have a gun?
  • Texas Governor Rick Perry refuses to expand Medicaid. (The guy who prays for rain thinks it’s “foolish” to give over a million low-income people access to affordable health care.)
  • Well whaddya know, Texas textbooks are inaccurate and biased. (Is anyone surprised?)
  • A Texan education: Sometimes they just make stuff up! (Okay, it’s crazy even for Texas.)
  • Texas doesn’t need to secede! They were illegally annexed and therefore never part of the Union! Really! See what the Republic of Texas proclaims. Sneak preview: EVICT ALL PROGRESSIVES! (Talk about oppression!)
  • Federal judge strikes down Texas’ ban on same-sex marriage, and some people down in Texas are pissed.  (Poor Texans, being told they can’t continue to openly discriminate against gays.)
  • Chuck Norris and other Texans warn of possible federal invasion and martial law! (And they insist they’re not paranoid. Wow.)
  • Texas Governor deploys State Guard against Obama takeover! (Gonna sic the Texas State Guard on the U.S. Military, eh? We’ll see how that goes.)
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The Price of Safety

The world was saddened and horrified by the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.

The NRA’s response? Put more guns in schools.

—–

The Price of Safety

The NRA says lots of guns will help to keep us safe!
Fill our homes and church and school, and arm the office place!
To protect his family, fathers stockpile guns of every size,
And women fill their purses up with pistols, as is wise.
There are crazy people out there. You never know just who.
So all the neighbors hurry out, and they buy weapons, too.

And teachers carry rifles to defend the school hall;
And shoppers strap their pistols on ‘fore heading to the mall;
And waitresses wear handguns as they work at the café;
And parents pack revolvers to the soccer field each day;
Ministers give sermons proudly sporting guns on hips,
And rejoice to see the faithful with their armaments and clips.
Mailmen and secretaries, bakers, clerks, and more
Bring shotguns to the office, to the courthouse, park or store.

And just because they love them, parents give their children Glocks.
They stuff ‘em into backpacks, down their pockets, into socks.
Safely armed with loaded guns, the kids go out to play.
My kid won’t get pushed around!” their parents proudly say.

Yes, just like in the Wild West, each person packs a gun.
It was peaceful – safe and civilized! – back when the West was won.
The best defense is good offense! No one would attack
A person who, if shot at, would then surely shoot them back!
And every day, a weapon kills a child (or two or three).
Well, that’s the price of safety. You know, safety isn’t free.

Now, a bar fight can explode from just two people to a brawl;
So a shouting match can likewise spark a gunfight free-for-all
When someone feels insulted, or someone runs a light,
Or someone who is crazy starts to pick a crazy fight.

And while you would never panic, someone maybe could,
And maybe they start shooting cuz their judgment’s not so good.
Then everyone starts grabbing for their Lugers and their Colts,
They’re whipping out their Winchesters and throwing home the bolts,
M-16s and Uzis are unveiled for self-defense:
Thank God we can protect ourselves from those who have no sense!
Guns are raised and shots are heard – from here? Or over there?
And the hordes of well-intentioned spray their bullets everywhere.

And later, when we count our dead who’re piled everyplace,
Will we still believe the NRA, that guns will keep us safe?