Poems by a Fed-Up (but Otherwise Really Happy) Atheist

Posts tagged ‘Poetry’

The Battle of the Bards!

My poem The Bible Makes You Better? inspired a reply in verse from a reader. I replied, also in verse, on his website. We then launched into a heated and poetic exchange. Read the full “Battle of the Bards” at Bill Peddie’s blog.

Believe It If You Want To

Believe It If You Want To

Atheists are baffled: your position makes no sense.
You claim to know what’s true (or not), but have no evidence!
You can’t hold up the Bible as your “proof” – that logic’s bad:
Kind of like a salesman – “It’s true! Just read my ad!”

If you’re gonna claim your story’s real, and that you hold The Truth,
You gotta have a teeny bit of independent proof.
Until you’ve got some evidence (and its testing doesn’t fail),
The stuff you “know” to be so “true” is just a fairy-tale.

So here is what we’re saying: Believe what you believe!
Believe that Christ is risen! Blame everything on Eve!
Believe in all those miracles with wine and loaves and fish,
Believe you’ll live forever! (That is a happy wish.)

But keep your god’s haphazard laws out of public sight:
Don’t dictate who can marry whom (injustice isn’t right!).
Don’t teach creation stories in a science class; don’t tell
Those you disapprove of that they’re sinners bound for hell.
When it comes to an abortion, or same-sex wedding rings,
If you believe that they are wrong, then don’t you do those things!
It’s wrong – it’s absolutely wrong – for your religious view
To restrict the lives of others! (You know, the Taliban does that, too.)

So bind your mind with nonsense, flog yourselves for sin,
Pray to God He takes away the mess He put you in.
Believe it in your heart of hearts, believe it without proof,
But the rest of us won’t listen when you rant about “The Truth.”
Until you have some evidence that indicates God’s real,
Spare us all your Christian rules and your religious zeal.
Hear the message, loud and clear, from all non-Christian folk:
Don’t ram your spiteful made-up god down our collective throat.

The Conservative Christian

The Conservative Christian

We’re Christians so we’ll help you, but you gotta do your part:
We won’t do nothing for you ’til there’s Jesus in your heart.
Just follow what the Bible says – well, the passages we’re choosing:
God says “Don’t kill,” then slaughters all, so that’s a bit confusing.
Don’t worry ‘bout the slavery, or killing folks with stones,
As long as wives submit to men, you’ll have such happy homes.
We’ll hold up signs like “God hates gays!” and “Burn in hell!” and such,
Don’t think we’re being hateful, ‘cause we love you very much!
We’ll tell you who to marry; how to live and die as well.
And if you don’t agree with us, you’ll surely go to hell.

As conservatives, we’re practical  – so keep our taxes down!
I want my money, dammit. Go someplace else to drown.
Don’t care if you are hungry, if you’re sick or if you’re cold,
Shut up and try to find a job. Too bad if you’re too old.
Give tax cuts to the wealthy! Cut programs to the poor!
Give guns to all Americans! Come on, let’s go to war!
Won’t help you with your healthcare; if you’re poor, I guess you’ll die.
Let’s cut out all the programs upon which I don’t rely.

The Jesus in the Bible always turned the other cheek.
He fed the hungry, healed the sick, stood up for all the weak.
He gave away his money, helped outcasts and the poor,
A jobless homeless bleeding heart? Sounds liberal, that’s for sure!
If Jesus walked the earth today and didn’t have a job,
And talked of peace, and helped the poor, and – gasp – thought he was God,
Christians in their righteous rage might nail him to a cross,
Where he’d likely die without healthcare, since that comes from your boss.

Christians seem deluded since the Bible’s such a mess,
Conservatives seem selfish, but that’s their choice, I guess.
But now I’ll say it plainly, so please don’t throw a fit:
If you’re Christian and not liberal, you’re just a hypocrite.