Poems by a Fed-Up (but Otherwise Really Happy) Atheist

Posts tagged ‘politics’

Trump And The Popular Vote

Despite winning the Electoral College vote (and thus the U.S. Presidency), Donald Trump did not win the popular vote: he actually received 2.8 million fewer votes than Hillary Clinton. He has been obsessed with the vote count ever since, doing everything he can to manipulate and skew public perception (including talking about “voter fraud” and “fake news”) even after multiple news sites (NPR, Politico, even Fox News) have confirmed his claims are baseless.

Trump And The Popular Vote

The tally was definitive: Trump lost the pop’lar vote.
He lost the vote by millions! It made it hard to gloat.
He threw a childish tantrum though he’d won the biggest prize,
Then did what he does naturally: he started telling lies.
He griped of widespread voter fraud (but couldn’t offer proof);
Claimed “millions” cast illegal votes (Refuted! Not the truth!).

He had to raise his number! With votes he was obsessed!
He had to raise his number! The truth must be suppressed!
He had to raise his number! If not, he’d self-destruct!
But no matter how he tried and tried, Trump couldn’t get it up.

And oh, how he massaged it! Imagine how he tried!
He couldn’t stand how small it was, it hurt his manly pride!
Employing every trick he knew, he strained to make it grow;
But even with his fiddling, he couldn’t make it so.
Alas, he couldn’t do it – embarrassing, it’s true;
But tantrums and excuses? That’s not what real men do.

It’s simple math: Despite his lies, his angry tweets and spin,
More votes were cast for Hillary. Most didn’t vote for him.
We caught him with his pants down. Exposed, we understand:
Trump bullies and he lies cuz he’s a tiny little man.

To Republicans Who Don’t Like Trump

To Republicans Who Don’t Like Trump

To those of you declaring Trump is not your Party’s face,
I say to you: Oh yes, he is. Behold your Party’s base!
Trump typifies the hatred and the anger perfectly:
The ignorance, the ugliness, the naked bigotry.
The utter disregard for facts; the anti-foreign spite;
The brazen incivility; the itching for a fight.

To call yourself Republican, your views must be the same,
Or close enough – you’re registered! – so you’re, in part, to blame.
For years, you’ve let Fox News distort the truth with lies and hate;
Elected Party leaders who let anger germinate;
Stayed loyal as they propagated dread and discontent;
Kept voting for the GOP, and what they represent.
You listened as Rush Limbaugh planted seeds of rage and fear:
You reap the crop you sow, you know, and Reaping Day is here.

And now we’re stuck with Donald Trump, an egomaniac,
A lewd and crude misogynist, a lying racist hack.
(To those appalled by Trump who now self-righteously complain:
If you’re like most, and didn’t vote, you’re equally to blame!
Eight-five percent of you thought staying home was fine –
By giving up your right to vote, you lost your right to whine.)

Your Party fanned the fires of rage, and look what’s come to be:
Mobs of screaming people. Trump as Nominee.
By cultivating anger, they have brought us to this place.
You see that sea of pitchforks? That’s your Party’s base.
Trump’s the face of anger that the Grand Old Party grew
With support (or loyal silence) from Republicans like you.

Some People Down In Texas

Some People Down In Texas….

Some people down in Texas carry guns for their protection.
Deadly weapons, violent deaths? There’s surely no connection –
Uh-oh! Rival bikers have a shootout in a bar!
Twenty-seven dead and injured! (You see how safe guns are?)
Of course those guys weren’t good guys. They were gonna kill someone;
But just how many would have died, if no one had a gun?

Some people down in Texas really hate Obamacare.
No Medicaid expansion for low income folks down there!
Too bad if they need health care! Screw the uninsured!
Too bad if they get sicker cuz their health care is deferred!
Block Obama’s policies! Just let the dying wait!
(You think they’d play with politics if their lives were at stake?)

Some people down in Texas cried, “The textbooks are absurd!
We can’t make kids conservative when Doctrine is obscured!
The Ten Commandments! Moses! That’s what shaped our Constitution!
Climate change – if it exists! – is NOT caused by pollution!
How dare the books say slavery! ‘Twas Atlantic Trading Acts!”
And so they set those textbooks straight by twisting up the facts.

Some people down in Texas felt their rights had been abused.
“Tyranny!” “Oppression!” – were some words they often used.
How dare the Feds impinge upon the Texans’ sovereign ways?
How dare they strike down laws that say NO MARRYING FOR GAYS?
Illegal domination! Interference! Subjugation! –
Poor Texans! So repressed, they try seceding from the nation!

[It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?]

Some people down in Texas got all panicked by a map!
It labelled Texas “hostile”! The Feds have set a trap!
They’ll attack through secret tunnels and establish martial law!
They’ll confiscate all firearms! They’ll brainwash ma and pa!
The Governor calls up the Guard. (The state has gone insane!
Hey guys! It’s just a military exercise, a game!)

Some people down in Texas have some pretty wacky views;
You think they must be joking, ‘til you see them on the news.
Conspiracies! Invasions! Persecution! State secession!
Fear that leftists might swoop-in to brainwash and oppress ‘em!

[Wow.]

They make us laugh! They make us cry. They certainly perplex us;
They’re just a little crazy, are some people down in Texas.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Some links to events referenced in the poem:

  • Nine dead, eighteen injured in Texas biker shootout. (Good thing they had all those guns to keep ’em safe, right?)
  • Gallup Poll: A majority of Americans think guns make us safer. (Hello! Do you watch the news?)
  • Here’s what I think about guns and safety.
  • Oh, how timely! Another shooting! Not in Texas, but the question remains: How many of those nine church-goers would have died if the shooter didn’t have a gun?
  • Texas Governor Rick Perry refuses to expand Medicaid. (The guy who prays for rain thinks it’s “foolish” to give over a million low-income people access to affordable health care.)
  • Well whaddya know, Texas textbooks are inaccurate and biased. (Is anyone surprised?)
  • A Texan education: Sometimes they just make stuff up! (Okay, it’s crazy even for Texas.)
  • Texas doesn’t need to secede! They were illegally annexed and therefore never part of the Union! Really! See what the Republic of Texas proclaims. Sneak preview: EVICT ALL PROGRESSIVES! (Talk about oppression!)
  • Federal judge strikes down Texas’ ban on same-sex marriage, and some people down in Texas are pissed.  (Poor Texans, being told they can’t continue to openly discriminate against gays.)
  • Chuck Norris and other Texans warn of possible federal invasion and martial law! (And they insist they’re not paranoid. Wow.)
  • Texas Governor deploys State Guard against Obama takeover! (Gonna sic the Texas State Guard on the U.S. Military, eh? We’ll see how that goes.)

My 2014 Wish For * Right-Wingers

* Stupid!

There are folks who’d rather screw the poor, for tax breaks for the wealthy; *
Who’d rather throw up roadblocks than ensure that folks are healthy; *
Who rush to buy assault guns after kids are massacred, *
And yell that Santa’s white, not black, and that’s the final word! *
Who – unbelievably – believe there’s a guy up there named “God,” *
And a simple “Happy Holidays” puts their panties in a wad; *
Who hate hate HATE all government, but love their Medicare; *
And scream, “Deport the immigrants!” but like the work they bear; *
Who disdain the claim that climate change imperils you or me, *
Yet cry that same-sex marriage wrecks our whole society – *

To all you hard-right-wingers who denounce, distort, delay,
So fearful of all progress that you block it every way,
Priorities all backwards! Arguments not lucid!
My heart-felt wish for you this year?

Stop being so damn stupid!

Fingers in Their Ears

Polls indicate that most Americans want a balanced approach to the fiscal cliff problem, with both spending cuts and revenue increases to solve our financial imbalance.

But Republicans in Congress refuse to raise revenue at all, even by closing tax loopholes for the wealthy.

Fingers in their Ears

Republicans in Congress drone their same-old tired chant:
“Compromise with Democrats? We never will! We shan’t!
Cut spending and close loopholes? Our constituents say no!”
And Republicans across the States cry, “Wait! That isn’t so!”

But Republicans in Congress say, “We’ll carry out your wish!
You’d rather cut the milit’ry than tax the super-rich!
We’ll keep those loopholes open while we cut with all our might!”
And Republicans across the States cry, “Stop! That is not right!”

But Republicans in Congress say, “We’re listening to you!
You’d rather risk recession than to increase revenue!
The rich, they need their money. Our schools can take the hit!”
And Republicans across the States cry, “That’s certainly not it!”

But Republicans in Congress say, “We’ll do just what you’ve asked!
You’ll pay more in spending cuts; the rich, though, won’t be taxed!”

We say that we want balance. We’ve asked them this for years!
“We’re listening!” they pledge to us . . .  with fingers in their ears.

The Price of Safety

The world was saddened and horrified by the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.

The NRA’s response? Put more guns in schools.

—–

The Price of Safety

The NRA says lots of guns will help to keep us safe!
Fill our homes and church and school, and arm the office place!
To protect his family, fathers stockpile guns of every size,
And women fill their purses up with pistols, as is wise.
There are crazy people out there. You never know just who.
So all the neighbors hurry out, and they buy weapons, too.

And teachers carry rifles to defend the school hall;
And shoppers strap their pistols on ‘fore heading to the mall;
And waitresses wear handguns as they work at the café;
And parents pack revolvers to the soccer field each day;
Ministers give sermons proudly sporting guns on hips,
And rejoice to see the faithful with their armaments and clips.
Mailmen and secretaries, bakers, clerks, and more
Bring shotguns to the office, to the courthouse, park or store.

And just because they love them, parents give their children Glocks.
They stuff ‘em into backpacks, down their pockets, into socks.
Safely armed with loaded guns, the kids go out to play.
My kid won’t get pushed around!” their parents proudly say.

Yes, just like in the Wild West, each person packs a gun.
It was peaceful – safe and civilized! – back when the West was won.
The best defense is good offense! No one would attack
A person who, if shot at, would then surely shoot them back!
And every day, a weapon kills a child (or two or three).
Well, that’s the price of safety. You know, safety isn’t free.

Now, a bar fight can explode from just two people to a brawl;
So a shouting match can likewise spark a gunfight free-for-all
When someone feels insulted, or someone runs a light,
Or someone who is crazy starts to pick a crazy fight.

And while you would never panic, someone maybe could,
And maybe they start shooting cuz their judgment’s not so good.
Then everyone starts grabbing for their Lugers and their Colts,
They’re whipping out their Winchesters and throwing home the bolts,
M-16s and Uzis are unveiled for self-defense:
Thank God we can protect ourselves from those who have no sense!
Guns are raised and shots are heard – from here? Or over there?
And the hordes of well-intentioned spray their bullets everywhere.

And later, when we count our dead who’re piled everyplace,
Will we still believe the NRA, that guns will keep us safe?

Family Values, GOP-Style

Family Values, GOP-Style

They thump their King James bibles as they preach morality;
They boast of “family values” like they’re pure as pure can be;
They condemn you if you’re different: You’re deviants! Misfits!
But the ”family values” party is awash with hypocrites.

Jimmy Swaggart preached the Word of God to millions on TV,
He called gay marriage asinine, perverse stupidity.
But he couldn’t quit those prostitutes, this family values whiz;
A monogamous gay marriage is more virtuous than his.

Mark Foley, fighting child porn, seemed worthy of applause.
He vilified the pedophiles, he called for tougher laws.
And yet he texted graphic stuff to boys not yet eighteen;
The ones who yell the loudest are not always what they seem.

Newt Gingrich, family values guy, cried morals were too lax.
He helped impeach the president for lying ‘bout some facts.
He denounced all shoddy morals (was he with wife Two or Three?),
As his mistress gave him blow jobs. Yeah, more hypocrisy.

Ted Haggard cried that gayness, impure sex and drugs were sin.
“Keep mind and body pure in Christ!” he’d say with toothy grin.
But he liked his male prostitutes. He liked his crystal meth.
He’d condemn it, then he’d do it. Jeez, show your God respect.

John Ensign, as a Promise Keeper, fought for “purity.”
Committed to strong marriages, he preached fidelity.
He cheated with a good friend’s wife despite his righteous stance:
Another family values guy can’t keep it in his pants.

Mark Sanford, Southern Governor, was big on honesty.
(I think that what he really meant was “everyone but me.”)
He lied ‘bout going hiking and he lied ‘bout his affair.
The GOP’s hypocrisy is damn near everywhere!

Larry Craig and ole Jim Bakker, Tom DeLay  and Eddie Long:
The sex and money scandals from these guys goes on and on!
They brag about their values, but you really have to doubt:
They lie and cheat, wreck marriages, and kick their gay kids out.

Who treats families made of immigrants with decency, not scorn?
Who cares about the lives of kids beyond the time they’re born?
Who says that gays can marry and raise kids, like you and me?
Who stands for family values? It ain’t the GOP!

The GOP hurts families, despite the stuff they shout.
For authentic family values, check the other party out.

Gambling With Our Fate

Gambling With Our Fate

You mock whoever dares to think that climate change is true.
You’re scornful of the scientists (who might know more than you).
You sneer at rising temperatures, at droughts and floods and storms.
You snort that it’s just cyclical: Earth cools and Earth warms.

I guess you think you’re awfully smart, denouncing experts’ views.
I guess you haven’t figured out you just can’t trust Fox News.
The scientists could all be wrong about our dire plight;
The problem for the planet, though, is: what if they are right?

Such arrogance, to just dismiss what all the experts say!
Such selfishness, to carry on when you don’t have to pay!
Such recklessness, to roar for drilling oil! Burning coal!
Such foolishness, to think that our emissions have no toll!
Such irresponsibility, to gamble with our fate!
I fear that you won’t smarten up until it’s way too late.

It’d be fine if your short-sightedness affected only you.
But denying this whole issue hurts your kids and grandkids, too.
Why are you so unconcerned, with facts this worrisome?
You’re either really selfish, or else you’re really dumb.

Wrong (again)

Wrong (again)

“There’s nothing wrong with slavery!” you cried with all your might.
“It’s sanctioned in the Bible!” (And by God, you know, you’re right.)
’Twas tradition that the upper class owned property like slaves.
You treat your blacks quite well, you claimed (as long as they behaved).
But giving slaves their freedom? To treat them just like white?
You cried that it’s not natural! It’s unheard-of! It’s not right!

You explained the color of their skin was proof of lower race.
You held no malice towards them, they just had to know their place.
Slavery was tradition. The way it’d always been.
’Twas written in the Bible, so to change it was a sin!
You thought the color of your skin made you superior,
But the rest of us all saw you as the racist that you were.

With women, you were adamant: they shouldn’t work or vote!
“Women must submit to men!” was a favorite Bible quote.
’Twas tradition they made babies, that they cooked and kept the home;
A woman’s place was certainly not equal to your own!
Men always ran the household: in their homes, they were the king.
It’d been this way for all these years, why change a single thing?

You explained how fragile women were, not logical or smart.
You held no malice towards them, they just had to know their part.
To rule was tradition. The way it’d always been.
’Twas written in the Bible, so to change it was a sin!
You thought God made it obvious that they’re inferior,
But the rest of us all saw you as the sexist that you were.

And now we come to marriage ’tween two people who are gay.
Stop right there! Just let me guess at what you’re gonna say!
You’ll talk about tradition ’tween a man and woman pair;
You’ll quote your Bible verses (homophobic and unfair).
You’ll say it isn’t natural. That being gay’s a sin.
(You can no more choose your gayness than the color of your skin.)
Armed with hateful Bible quotes, you feel so justified;
(Cuz you’ve never known the Bible to have been on the wrong side!)

You’ll explain you really love gays. You really really do!
You hold no malice towards them, they should just be straight, like you.
Marriage is tradition. The way it’s always been.
It’s written in the Bible, so to change it is a sin!
You think that you’re so righteous, such a moral superstar,
But the rest of us all see you as the bigot that you are.

You make the same old arguments! Forgive me if I’m shrill:
‘Twas discrimination earlier! You’re discriminating still!
You like to fight ’gainst civil rights, but every time you’re wrong.
In time the country grows ashamed of the side you’re always on.
Here’s why you’ll lose this battle (like the other fights you fought):
It’s pure discrimination!

You can marry.

They cannot.

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee
Were voted in by you and me.
Each one argued different sides,
Then hammered out a compromise.
And afterwards they’d have a drink,
And talk and argue; reason, think.
And just because they disagreed
Neither one once felt the need
To call one side “unpatriotic.”
(A charge that’s clearly idiotic!)

Now, Tweedle Dee felt passionately
That all should have equality.
And so he fought for civil rights:
Equal treatment: blacks and whites!
Equal treatment: straight and gay!
For everyone! In every way!

But Tweedle Dum cried, “Lower taxes!”
And “Government, get off our backses!”
(Which really doesn’t make much sense
Since Tweedle Dum’s constituents
Walk around with hands outstretched
For monthly governmental checks.
Where’d they think the money’s from?
From taxes, people! Don’t be dumb!)
You’d think they’d give Dum second looks –
They vote against their pocketbooks!

Now, Tweedle Dum began to think
It might look weak to have a drink
With Tweedle Dee; Dum could be wrong,
But more important is looking strong!
So with all the wisdom Dum implies,
He vowed to never compromise.
Tweedle Dee would try, you know.
But Tweedle Dum just stuck with no.

No to helping those who’re poor.
No immigrants allowed, for sure!
No to marriage if you’re gay!
No taxing rich folks! No! No way!
No to all who are not wealthy.
No to health care! (Hope you’re healthy.)
No abortions! No exceptions!
No to gun control suggestions!
No, there is no climate change!
No if it seems new or strange!

If Dee had something to propose,
Dum would block it with his “no’s.”
Whatever Tweedle Dee might say,
Tweedle Dum would block his way.
Even things that Dum proposed
If Dee agreed, Dum then opposed!
Tweedle Dee would cry, “Not fair!”
But Tweedle Dum just didn’t care.
Dum blocked Dee at every turn.
Let the country crash and burn!

The people cried for unity,
And Tweedle Dum blamed Tweedle Dee
For all those no’s, for all our woes –
Dum just lies, the record shows.
And Tweedle Dum’s constituents
(Who, as I said, don’t have much sense)
Believed Fox News, who said that Dum
Was blameless and that Dee was scum!

So things got worse, more polarized.
Drinks were out (like compromise).
The Tweedles fought, got nothing done,
Yet voters kept both Dee and Dum.

So Dee, with scant majority,
Pushed through bills alone, did he.
Dum was angry, let it show,
But work at all with Dee? Hell, no!
Dum wanted everything his way.
He wouldn’t budge. He wouldn’t sway.
The country stalled; Dum didn’t care.
The country needs Dum outta there!

So let’s be clear: we all know that
“Dee” is short for Democrat.
We also know why things are crummy:
Cuz “Dum,” of course, is short for . . .

.    .    .     .    .Republican

 

 

GOP and Debt Ceiling

The GOP Finally Raises The Debt Ceiling

The GOP congress seems to want to be praised:
Woo hoo! Got our way! Woo hoo, taxes weren’t raised!
Woo hoo! Cut big bucks from the sick and the old!
Woo hoo! Wealthy friends keep their yachts and their gold!

But all those republicans should now be recalled:
They held us all hostage as the economy stalled.
They irresponsibly, recklessly held a hard line,
Didn’t care the whole country might suffer, decline.
They’re naysayers. Bullies. They’re  zealots. They’re haters.
Almost took down the country!

They’re practically traitors.